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i never wanted to blog.yet i'm desperately seeking for a solace....
it has been about 4 years but i still think about my AJUSHI...a chingu yet in this cloak of mine i hide my true feelings for him..now i ask myself, after all these years can i call that love? or is it my romantic nature in such pursuit? it has never materialized even though proximity has always brought the old gushy feelings back...i guess ivy s right. I have created a WALL OF CHINA around us even though i am the only one who truly wants to be in it. I tried my hardest to forget him but what can i do when if he's just a phone call away. Aside from that, lately we've been going out together....and because of that blissful memories are returning with a vengeance...

yes!!! i'm so pathetic trying to wait for someone who i know will never look at me in a different light.I wish I have a magic wand turning myself into the perfect girl He always wanted..or changing how I dress, the way i speak just to fit his liking..But that would mean that i would lose my own identity..I don't think i could sacrifice to that extent...

this is a hidden blog..hidden from the prying eyes of public...though i want them to know my innermost thoughts. I'd be then risking my friendship[ with him..

Confession:: i viewed the profile of HIS first LOVE..and obviously even if it sounds silly..IT BROKE MY HEART...not because i saw the girl, but because of the realization that she definitely owns HIS heart...i can't be your clown because under this mask you'll see the traces of the tears i shed...